


Weird father, weird sons

by ShariDeschain



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics)
Genre: Bruce Wayne is a Good Dad, Damian and Bruce have unpopular opinions about Star Wars, Family Fluff, Gen, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 14:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12683874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShariDeschain/pseuds/ShariDeschain
Summary: Bruce learns that vengeful brotherly bonding is still brotherly bonding.





	Weird father, weird sons

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure I wanted to post this thing here but eh, whatever. So, there was [this headcanon of mine](https://unavenged-robin.tumblr.com/post/158033525018/i-really-like-the-idea-of-damian-having-a-ranking) and I always thought I would write a fic about it, so when I got an anon asking for the same thing I wrote this, which is actually a fic of what happens _after_ it. Idk, don't ask. Anyway, this fic will probably make more sense if you read the headcanon before.

There is a soft knocking at the door followed by the clearing of a throat. Damian waits until the door is timidly pulled ajar before throwing a batarang against the doorframe, only a few inches away from Dick’s hand.

“Oh, come on, I only wanted to-”

Damian throws a second batarang, this time a lot closer to the open gap where their older brother’s head is supposed to be, and so they never find out what Dick wanted to do.

“You are a terrible kid”, Tim comments while Dick walks away grumbling out loud at the empty hallway.

“Thanks”, Damian answers, pressed against Tim’s side, eyes fixed on the TV screen. “You’re not that good either.”

“I’m just playing along”, Tim returns. “You’re the one who started the whole thing.”

“Abetment in a crime is also a crime”, Damian points out, pushing a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “I would have expected from you to know at least the basics of our jobs.”

“Was that an insult?”, Tim asks amicably. “It sounded like an insult.”

“Merely a consideration”, Damian grunts and accidentally plants an elbow into Tim’s side.

Tim snorts but doesn’t push it. This whole vengeful bonding thing between the two of them is still new enough to be actually nice, and he doesn’t want to ruin it before time - according to his predictions, it will lasts one more week top, and then Damian will inevitably concede into Dick’s peace offerings. No way the kid will be able to hold his grudge or suffer Tim’s company over Dick’s longer than that. Still, for the moment, Tim’s content enough to find himself cuddled on the couch, under a heavy blanket, with the warm pressure of Damian’s body against his, watching the last Star Wars movie together. Stranger things have happened, he supposes.

It takes another hour before someone else ventures to knock on their door. Damian’s hand is already armed with another batarang, but this time it’s Bruce’s head peeping in, so the weapon quickly disappears into the depth of Damian’s pockets again.

“Everything good?”, Bruce asks, stepping gingerly into the room. Tim will never not be amused about how cautious the rest of the family is acting around the two of them now that they’re not trying to kill each other. It’s like they find the lack of violence unsettling, if not downright disturbing.

“I’m studying nerd culture, Father”, Damian answers. “So far, it has been a boring experience.”

Tim scoffs and reaches around Damian to grab the popcorn bowl.

“Ignore him. Weirdly enough, he likes Star Wars just like the rest of us human being.”

Damian glowers at him.

“I never said I liked it.”.

“When do you ever say that you like something?”

“Never”, Damian agrees with a not-so-hidden satisfaction.

“So it’s like a policy?”, Tim asks in with mocking interest while licking the salt from his fingers. “Was it in the terms of the contract to sell your soul?”

“I like Star Wars too”, Bruce butts in before the argument can develop further. He’s pretty sure that with this strange truce going on between them it wouldn’t have turned into a fight, but old habits coming from being a long time parent of too many bickering children die hard. His statement earns him an eyeroll and a surprised glance.

“You do?”, Damian asks, looking completely aghast at the idea, and Bruce nods but doesn’t explain that Tim more or less forced him to watch all the movies long time ago. Tim doesn’t say anything either, but throws him a secret grin while Damian processes the information. Bruce smiles down at the both of them.

Encouraged, Damian gestures for Bruce to sit down next to them. Bruce steps closer but only leans against the back of the couch.

“Drake says the original trilogy is better, but I find it lacking in both narrative structure and depth of the characters”, Damian explains, pausing the movie. “I lik- I find the prequel trilogy less tedious.” 

“That’s an interesting opinion”, Bruce answers.

“That’s bullshit”, Tim immediately retorts. “He likes Jar Jar just like you, Bruce. Take some responsibility for your genes.”

“I never said I liked him”, Bruce argues, apparently without realizing he sounds exactly like his son. “Only that I didn’t understand all the hatred towards the character.”

“That’s even worse, Bruce.”

“It’s two against one, _Tim_ ”, Damian cuts in. “You’ve been beaten, accept that you’re wrong.”

“That’s not how opinions works, Damian. Beside, it’s only you and Bruce thinking that the prequel trilogy is better, the others would side with me on this.”

“You could’ve invited them to join you”, Bruce points out tentatively, and Damian forsakes the argument to scowl at him with a disappointed frown that would make Alfred proud.

“You know we’re at war with them, Father”, he scolds him.

“Beside, Dick, Jason and Steph talk all the time during movies”, Tim adds.

“Cassandra doesn’t.”

“No, but she stops the movie every time she sees something she likes and no one can wrestle the remote out of her hand”, Damian grumbles, and Bruce suspects that the reluctant admission comes after a long series of unsuccessful first-person attempts.

“So you like it better to watch a movie only with each other?”, Bruce asks after a moment of calculated hesitation, then he does his best to pretend he doesn’t enjoy the look of surprised realization dawning on both his sons’ faces at his words. It doesn’t last long.

“Of course not!”, Damian sputters.

“Did someone hit you very hard on the head while you were on patrol?”, Tim asks at the same time.

“Okay, okay”, Bruce answers with a smile, raising his hands in a show of surrender. “It was an innocent observation.”

Damian scoffs indignantly at him, then grabs the remote again.

“I’m finishing this movie and then I’m going to train”, he announces stiffly, still offended at the idea that anybody would think that he’s hanging out with Tim for any other purpose than revenge on their siblings.

“There’s still another movie after this”, Tim remembers him. “The first one of the new trilogy.”

“Fine. I’m finishing this movie, watch the new one and then I’ll go training.”

“Bed”, Bruce corrects. “Then you both will go to bed.”

“Right”, Tim and Damian scoff with one voice, and Bruce pretends not to hear the implied irony.

They spend the next ten minutes in silence, watching the movie together. There’s some shuffling on the couch from time to time, but other than that the boys stay quiet and Bruce stands beside them, observing in a thoughtful silence.

“You can sit down with us, Father”, Damian offers again after a while, voice soft. “You and Pennyworth are not included in my banishment.”

Bruce is tempted. The couch looks cozy, and the idea of spending a few hours with his youngests without having to break any fight does sound nice. But what’s nicer to him, right now, is the sight of Damian burrowed again into Tim’s side, head leaning dangerously closer to Tim’s shoulder by every passing minute, and Tim’s own head hovering just above Damian’s.

“I’m fine here, don’t worry”, he answers then.

“Weird father”, Tim sighs, leaning a little more against Damian.

“Weird sons”, Bruce finishes with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> How many fics will I be able to write involving the batfam, couches and movies? We will find out together.


End file.
